We arrived at the clinic and I looked around the fairly full waiting room and thought to myself, "I'm pregnant!" Wait, "I'm pregnant!!!!" I looked at all the women in the room feeling empathy and knowing that I was sitting there, in those same chairs, just weeks/months/years earlier hoping for a chance to say to myself, "I'm pregnant!!!" The day had finally come.
We cheerfully entered the exam room. I sat on the crinkly sheet, disrobed from the waist down and draped with my friend, the pink paper. The Dr. came in and proceeded to conduct the exam with the vaginal ultrasound.
There it was. A miracle on the screen. A big black blob which the Doctor assured us was a baby! She determined that there was just one in there...a healthy gestational sac, uterus, and yolk sac! Cal said, "Aww, it looks just like I did when I was just a yolk sac!" And then she said, "There's the heartbeat."
My heart stopped and I gulped. It was real. That little "cursor" looking thing on the screen was our baby's heartbeat. What an amazing feeling and phenomenon. Cal clenched my hand and gave me a squeeze. We were absolutely elated. The Doctor measured the heartbeat which was 116 BPM; apparently just fine for 6 weeks gestation. She said the baby was measuring right on track. Phew, what a relief!
In the weeks since, I've continued to feel the occasional "pulling" sensation in my lower abdomen. Other than that, the only other real symptom I've noticed are extremely sensitive breasts. In fact, I thought about walking around with mini bagels or mini donuts under my shirt just to provide a life vest ring for my girl parts. Seriously. Do you think anyone would notice?!?!
In the past week I've been reading some pregnancy books, although friends have advised to stay away from "What to expect when you're expecting." At the moment I'm reading, "Big, Beautiful, and Pregnant." Any suggestions?
I spoke with some friends about hiring a Doula when it gets closer to the big arrival. My rationale for this is simple...I want someone to be there...for me. What about Calvin you ask? Well...he'll be there, 100%, but sometimes I expect more from him. I'm worried about him and his needs too, and would love for someone to be there to reassure us, to remind us of our plan and to coach us through it. SO, a Doula just may be the answer for me. I've also thought a lot about how my mom won't be here. My mother in law will be wherever I want, whenever I want, and for that I'm grateful...but sometimes a girl just wants her mommy. I'm continually saddened when I think about her missing out on all the decisions, on the big day, on everything.
Readers: Have you ever used a Doula? What was your experience like?
Within the past week or so I've really noticed that my emotions are a lot more on the surface. This could be due to no longer taking prescribed medications for the safety of the baby, hormones, and dealing with continued grief as I countinue on this new journey. So, I'm feeling a little vulnerable, am finding my poor unsuspecting husband walking on eggshells, and am feeling all kinds of emotions from one minute to the next. I cried watching the movie, "My Girl" although I have seen it so many times I could probably recite it in my dreams, and I even cried at an episode of "Undercover Boss." What a sap. I've also noticed during the past few days that my lower back is feeling tired easily. I've always have chronic lower back issues but they seem to have dissipated over the years. Welcome back!
Calvin and I have started to envision the eventual nursery, talking about the Winnie the Pooh theme (which I always knew I would have in a nursery someday, since childhood). Seriously, I would go through the huge JCPenney catalog and mark pages and circle baby furniture I liked...bedding...everything. I had a Winnie the Pooh collection growing up, and years ago my mom bought some special Lenox pieces specifically for a Geller nursery someday. There's no question.
With that being said, I still recognize how early it is and that I have absolutely NO control over what's happening inside my body. All I can do is rest, relax, eat right, and try to think positive thoughts. Speaking of eating, no aversions that I've noticed thus far. I have 3 major cravings; peanut butter, BBQ, and ice cream. And in the evening hours for about the past 3-4 nights, I've experienced very slight nausea.
I'm still going to acupuncture weekly, which I continue to enjoy. My acupuncturist is always reassuring and tells me how good my pulse feels. No clue why that's good, but if he says so! I still feel occasional heart palpitations, usually at night when I retire for the evening. Tonight Cal helped me check my blood pressure; 122/77. Almost prefect. Take that, Doctors!!!!
So, tomorrow we go in for our 8 week ultrasound. Baby is supposedly 8weeks, 5 days today. We are in week nine. I'm anxious going into the appointment tomorrow and am hoping that we see a little alien of sorts in there, with a strong heartbeat. That's all I want and all I can hope for. We are positive, continue to be elated, and are enjoying the ride!
Today, September 4, 2012
We went for our final visit at the fertility center. All is well. Baby's heartbeat is 174BPM, perfect size, and it was wiggling! We "graduated" and were given a DVD and some pictures. :) Yay! So, an officially chapter comes to a close as we move forward for our regular OB appointments. I am so relieved!
Oh, and just because I could...I made Cal lie down on the crinkly sheet and drape with the pink paper so he'd know kind of what it feels like to be all exposed and stuff. Enjoy!
